Happy Mother’s day!
This is a special edition post on how I am processing my feelings during this year’s Mother’s day.
Right now I am trying to remain grateful for what I have. I waited a long, long time to be a mom and just to have the little one to mother is such a gift. To have the stresses of motherhood is a blessing for me. I am so thankful everyday that I get to be W’s momma!
That being said, I am feeling some sadness and a little resentment towards my mother’s illness. My mom has Progressive supranuclear Palsy.
What is PSP?
Progressive supranuclear palsy (PSP) is an uncommon brain disorder that affects movement, control of walking (gait) and balance, speech, swallowing, vision, mood and behavior, and thinking. The disease results from damage to nerve cells in the brain. The disorder’s long name indicates that the disease worsens (progressive) and causes weakness (palsy) by damaging certain parts of the brain above nerve cell clusters called nuclei (supranuclear).
She is bedridden and cannot speak on the phone anymore so I have to send her letters and cards and pictures from W and I so my dad can read them to her. I haven’t sent her anything in a while so I am also feeling guilty today.
So it is definitely a mixed bag of emotions today. On one hand I want to celebrate and enjoy my day. On the other hand, I want to cry because I don’t have my mother anymore and I haven’t seen her in a year.
But we will visit very soon and I will be sending her some wonderful pictures from W and a card from me and some flowers soon for her birthday.
So here’s to you. If you are going through something similar, you couldn’t get pregnant, you had to or are going through IVF, miscarriages, you don’t want kids and have pets or plants, or any other circumstances. Here’s to ALL mothers!