Support

Support as a new mother is imperative. We know we will need lots of it and we try to prepare ourselves for the upcoming unknown. But what happens when there is a pandemic and your support system is unable to help? Or you have your family but they are not a reliable source for support? Or if you just moved states and have no connections to anyone yet?

Well, that is almost how it was for hubby and I when I had W. We had our friends here, they are a married couple and their daughter. That was it! So it was hard at first when we were mainly on our own.

It was hard to breastfeed, hard to choose formula, hard to clean but not clean right after giving birth. From pregnancy onward it is just getting used to your new normal. That’s what I said when people asked me how I felt when I was pregnant. I would be like, well going up stairs makes me feel winded now, so that’s my new normal. Or I would say, I can’t keep my eyes open past seven at night now so that’s my new normal. Or when I would wake up at 5am and not be able to go back to sleep.

It all is just a new normal for us. But what we don’t think about too much, especially when we are in the thick of it, is that it is a new normal for everyone else our lives touch. Usually that is our support system. So there is this huge shift of time and energy we have in our day, week and month that we HAVE to give to our new baby, our home and our relationship. It is so easy to lose yourself in the hustle of doctor’s appointments, work and chores along with making sure your baby is fine and healthy.

Motherhood is like the perfect storm. You bring the best thing ever into your life at the expense of your own body, your marriage can suffer, your friendships and relationships can suffer and you can lose yourself in postpartum mood disorder. And you are expected to “bounce back” still have a career and perfect house and maintain friend outings and your marriage doesn’t change. We all know that those expectations are unrealistic.

It is easier with a support system. And when your support system is mostly through a screen, it can be even harder. Or the people you know are busy working and doing their own thing. It’s okay because they still are your support system even when they are unavailable or unable to come to you.

That is where specific online support can help. Finding a great group of moms who are going through what you are is so helpful, especially during this pandemic. I have been in my mom group for my son’s birth month since October 2018, the day I found out I was pregnant. Some of them have become the greatest friends and we haven’t even met in person.

In any other time this would be much more scary to admit. But since I didn’t have many people here when we moved, I leaned into the group and connected with some ladies on a very personal level. And it is so fantastic!

I created my Facebook group Postpartum and You to be the place that you can go and lean on in times when your support is unavailable to you or unable to be near you. You get to keep us right in your pocket, like minded mamas who have littles just like you!

We are doing our best to make ourselves a priority, to work on our relationships, cleaning (or lack there of in my case!) our homes, going to the park, making sure that laundry gets put from the washer to the dryer and navigating all of this motherhood stuff together. It is certainly not perfect but it is a collective of moms who know they can rely on each other.

I host monthly webinars, this month is all about Mothers Day with a little and activities you can do together! I hope you will join me and my fellow mamas on this journey through motherhood!

Join today: https://www.facebook.com/groups/186648223223125

Love always,

Valerie

Published by Empowered Mama Coach

Hi, I'm Valerie! I am a Postpartum Empowerment Coach here to help guide you through the new journey of motherhood! Here I will share what I have learned, give tips on how to be more present in life and show you that you can stop sleepwalking through your life and start living it!

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