The Inner Critic

Do you have a raging inner critic or are you just blissful all the time? Haha I know I am making a joke ya’ll 🙂

My inner critic flares up, kind of like when you eat too much ice cream and have an ice cream headache. Or if you’re lactose intolerant and have stomach gurgles after haha.

Sadly that voice is the voice of my dad. He was always so critical when we were growing up and that negative voice is his. I say “was” because I don’t pay attention to if he is criticizing me or not anymore. I do what I do and if he doesn’t like it, that’s fine.

I personally feel like it is so easy to give other people the benefit of the doubt and cheer them on. I know I need to do that more with myself. I am very hard on myself and those very close to me. It is something I have taken away from my time with my parents and something I am working on to let go of. The grip is very strong even now though and it can be a struggle for me.

In November when I thought I wasn’t showing up for myself by working out as much as I wanted to, I felt like I was lacking in so many ways. I recently looked back on my November posts in my accountability group and realized I showed up way more than I previously thought. And it made me feel so proud of myself! I wasn’t showing up the same way as others but that is okay. I showed up even when it was hard for me physically and that is the whole point.

It’s not being an exact replica of everyone else, it’s about being me and doing what is good for me. So, let the load you put on yourself go a little. Loosen the grip of that critical voice.

What I did to combat that feeling before was to say out loud the exact opposite of what I was thinking. I am changing the narrative actively by doing this. If my brain told me “You are lazy because you want to nap instead of workout”. I say out loud, “I am not lazy. I got W and myself breakfast and we did not turn the TV on before naptime. I gave him a bath. We played. I am tired. I didn’t sleep well last night.”

I started also doing a “done list” at the end of the day. I wrote down 10 things I got done that day. It doesn’t have to be big things. Today would be:

  1. Washed clothes
  2. Folded towels
  3. Emptied the dishwasher
  4. Loaded dishwasher
  5. Gave W 2 baths
  6. Made W lunch
  7. Washed sheets
  8. Put the clothes in the dryer
  9. Put the sheets in the dryer
  10. Wrote blog post

See? Anyone can do it, it’s not difficult. I usually get to around 8 and have to search my brain for more haha. But that’s okay because that makes me recount my day a little and bring me back to the present day.

So it is really nice to do it before bed because it helps my brain quiet down and it helps when I feel like I haven’t done much to show me that I in fact have done a lot in my day. I encourage you to try it and see how much you get done in only one week!

And remember, you are MORE than the negative inner critic in your head. YOU can change the narrative!


Published by Empowered Mama Coach

Hi, I'm Valerie! I am a Postpartum Empowerment Coach here to help guide you through the new journey of motherhood! Here I will share what I have learned, give tips on how to be more present in life and show you that you can stop sleepwalking through your life and start living it!

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